Monday, March 9, 2009

A path to enlightenment

This past Saturday I went to the library to return a couple of movies and a book. While there, I browsed the books and picked up "Everyday Enlightenment", by Dan Millman. I had watched the movie "Peaceful Warrior", based on a book written by Dan Millman and thoroughly enjoyed the movie and the philosophy of Socrates, a character in the movie.

Sunday morning I awoke tense, frustrated, and anxious. My life seems to be getting nowhere. I don't seem to be able to make money. I have many money making ideas, yet need time to develop the skills, marketing, and products to sell. I visualize my life as I believe it can be, and it still doesn't come to be.

I sat downstairs by my computer and bitched to God. Do You care? Does it matter that one of your creations is in pain? If you care at all I should be able to open this book and your Spirit will flow through the words. At random, I opened the book to a section on fear. I read about the strength of our immortal soul, yet within the framework of humanity we can still be stricken by fear. This fear goes by many names; anxiety, depression, stress, overwhelm, feeling stuck and more. I closed the book with a "what does it mean" feeling and the thoughts began to flow freely.

My anxiety was just long term fear. My lack of focus was fear of not being able to follow through with a project. A voice seemed to say "why do you wear so much fear?" I was quite bewildered because I didn't know fear was a constant companion. An image popped into my mind of all my fears looking like clothes and banners that I wore. The voice seemed to say "how would you feel if you could take off your fear like taking off a tee shirt? What if for just a few moments you took off your fear and just breathed in the lightness of just being you?" In my mind I removed my banners of fear -- the angst, worthlessness, feeling of failure. I still clung to my fear in the form of a tee shirt. "Well, what if?" I thought. Can I give up my fear? I took off the fear tee shirt and immediately felt free. I was awe struck. In my mind I wandered around a beautiful sunlit hillside totally ecstatic of being released from this burden. I went on to have an absolutely wonderful day and evening. I even awoke today very content just being me.

I am curious also to see how events unfold. I don't know if I will don my cloak of fear once more or acknowledge its presence in my life and coexist in a peaceful way. In the book, Dan Millman states "Fear is not only an adversary, it is also a guide." My fear said, don't write this blog post, nobody cares. Which possibly means somebody else needs this. Maybe it's you.

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